Friday, September 11, 2026

Jesse Welles - The Nerd Reich (live at The Gorge)

 Jesse Welles - The Nerd Reich

lyrics from transcript and on screen:

I was standing  on a ledge contemplating the ocean in a boat in the Strait of Hormuz. If they ain't got a mission and they still ain't winning, can't you at least get the boys some food?

When  they nuke Iran and Jesus  don't come back and your son's still gay and there's no cheap
 gas. When the vengeance of nations finally comes to port, will you be bitching about men playing
 women's sports? 

I get weary. I get nervous. They hired a clown. We get the whole damn

circus. Lord, I get tired. I feel uptight. Turn your back for a second.

It's the Nerd Reich. On day 184 of a three day war, I drove my truck to Lake America.
 I was thinking about drowning.

When  my youth pastor found me, slapped  a wedding ring on my thumb. I cried out to Jesus. 
I cried out to mom.  I got Peter Thiel. He listens closer than God. I said, "Now, what's with these cameras

pointing at me?" He said, "Don't do nothing wrong. There won't be nothing to see."  Gee,  I get weary. They can hear.

This one goes out to my buddies up at Palantir. I said, "Now, since you're already listening,  I must ask, what's the low down

on this fella  ya'll call JD Vance?" He said, "He's a carbon life form wearing khaki pants." You know, we play the song and  buddy, he does the dance. He did some Catholic gymnastics,

washed his mouth out with soap, but even God and the king and two popes said nope. He  gets weary, he

gets hit, but it's all bound to happen when you drag Appalachia through shit.


How fast do I got to jog to beat a robot dog? I know it's smarter  than the guy with the leash.

Give me a 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue where the law can't lay a hand on me.

Oh, what war is it? What wife is it for GI joke? My favorite Fox and Friend, Captain Testosterone.

I heard that Pete wants in office, but he  lost his war. I'd laugh if I hadn't seen the show before.

I get weary. I  get nervous. You hire a clown. You get the whole damn circus. Lord.


 I get tired. I feel uptight.

Turn your back for a minute. It's the Nerd Reich.

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