How the body keeps the score on trauma | Bessel van der Kolk for Big Think+

Acclaimed psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of “The Body Keeps The Score,” discusses the widespread existence of trauma and how it manifests in our bodies.

The Happy Fits - Dirty Imbecile (Revisited - official music video)

 The Happy Fits - Dirty Imbecile

If I’m so smart and I’m so pretty
Damn this town and damn this city
You never give me anything that I want
No one seems to really care
They're just wholly unaware
Of all the blood and sweat I cry before dawn

But you won’t understand
All the things that I am
Cause' I’m crazy in just too many ways
But I get that little feel
When my heart starts beating; lungs stop breathing;
All my fibers say to run away

Count my little scars; I’ve got dozens down inside
I come complete and invincible behind my dirty imbecile
All these things I’ve tried, boy: Be cute, be dumb, be wise, be young
So don’t tell me what to fear in the darkness of this atmosphere

Love my mum and love my daddy
Sure they messed me up but that is
Voices that they left inside of my head
Darling, dearest, don’t you see
I’m tough, I’m smart, I’m bourgeoisie?
And I’ll play out this lie until we’re all dead
But you won’t understand
All the things that I am
Cause' I’m crazy in just too many ways
But I get that little feel
When my heart starts beating; lungs stop breathing;
All my fibers say to run away


Count my little scars; I’ve got dozens down inside
I come complete and invincible behind my dirty imbecile
All these things I’ve tried, boy: Be cute, be dumb, be wise, be young
So don’t tell me what to fear in the darkness of this atmosphere

Am I good? Is all I could enough for you?
I’m so scared of when and where I’ll find the truth

Am I good? Is all I could enough for you?
(Count my little scars; I’ve got dozens down inside
I come complete and invincible behind my dirty imbecile)
I’m so scared of when and where I’ll find the truth
(All these things I’ve tried, boy: Be cute, be dumb, be wise, be young
So don’t tell me what to fear in the darkness of this atmosphere)
(Am I good? Is all I could enough for you?)
Count my little scars; I’ve got dozens down inside
I come complete and invincible behind my dirty imbecile
(I’m so scared of when and where I’ll find the truth)
All these things I’ve tried, boy: Be cute, be dumb, be wise, be young
So don’t tell me what to fear in the darkness of this atmosphere

(Am I good? Is all I could enough for you?)
Count my little scars; I’ve got dozens down inside
I come complete and invincible behind my dirty imbecile
(I’m so scared of when and where I’ll find the truth)
All these things I’ve tried, boy: Be cute, be dumb, be wise, be young
So don’t tell me what to fear in the darkness of this atmosphere

(Oh, ooh)
Oh
Oh, oh
(Oh, oh-oh-oh, I am—)
Oh
Oh, oh

I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME - Absinthe

IDKHOW - Absinthe 

Bring to me
Your sons and daughters
‘Cause absinthe makes the heart
Grow fonder

I don’t care what momma says
You’ll wind me up
Or you’ll wind up dead

I don’t care what momma says

I don’t believe whatever this is
Until you burn all of the witches
I won’t believe whatever this is
Whatever they give you
Stop drinking it down

If I were you
Then I’d stop talking
'Cause soon you’ll be a dead man walking

I don’t care what momma says
You’ll wind me up
Or you’ll wind up dead

I don’t care what momma says

I don’t believe whatever this is
Until you burn all of the witches
I won’t believe whatever this is
Whatever they give you
Stop drinking it down

I hear voices
I see visions
These spirits
Are your prison

X 2
I don’t believe whatever this is
Until you burn all of the witches
I don’t believe whatever this is
Until you burn all of the witches
I don’t believe whatever this is
Until you burn all of the witches
I don’t believe whatever this is

Fabrizio - Before the Soul Goes to Waste (The Most Unexpected Voice I've Ever Heard )

Fabrizio - Before the Soul Goes to Waste 

Before the soul goes to waste
I was young and fragile when the liquor took hold
It came as a friend but it left as a foe
If I could go back to the very first sip
I’d clean up the wound that the booze bandaged

Two fifths of whiskey to start the night off
I’d get drunk with the moon go to bed with the sun
Next morning, the taste of familiar regret
You sip on the poison, slow deaths what you get

But the craving is worse than last night
If I don’t quit soon it’ll claim me for life
I’m scared to try one more time
‘Cause when I relapse it feels like a crime

There was a time when drinking felt like making love
Now that woman wants more but I’ve had enough
I’m weary and I’m a fool for falling in temptation
it pulls all my strings and dilutes the hesitation

But the craving is worse than last night
If I don’t quit soon it’ll claim me for life
I’m scared to try one more time
‘Cause when I relapse it feels like a crime
‘Cause when I relapse it feels like a crime

I don’t trust the bottle or its intentions for my life
it wakes up the ghosts that my father left behind
And if I must return to my old deranged ways
Get rid of the body before the soul goes to waste

Red - Already Over (Epic Version)

 Red - Already Over

You never go
You're always here 
Suffocating me
Under my skin
I cannot run away
Fading slowly

I give it all to you
Letting go of me
Reaching as I fall
I know it's already over now
Nothing left to lose
Loving you again
I know it's already over, already over now

My best defense
Running from you 
Cost me everything
I can't resist
Take all you want from me
Breaking slowly

I give it all to you
Letting go of me
Reaching as I fall
I know it's already over now
Nothing left to lose 
Loving you again
I know it's already over, already over now

You're all I'm reaching for
It's already over
All I'm reaching for
It's already over now

I give it all to you 
I offer up my soul
It's already over, already over now!

Give it all to you
Letting go of me
Reaching as I fall 
I know it's already over now
Nothing left to lose
Loving you again
I know it's already over now
It's already over now
I know it's already over, already over

Fall Out Boy - Immortals (from Big Hero 6)

Fall Out Boy - Immortals 

[Verse 1]
They say we are what we are
But we don't have to be
I'm bad behavior, but I do it in the best way
I'll be the watcher (Watcher)
Of the eternal flame
I'll be the guard dog of all your fever dreams

[Pre-Chorus]
(Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
I am the sand in the bottom half of the hourglass, glass (Glass)
(Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
I try to picture me without you, but I can't

[Chorus]
'Cause we could be immortals, immortals
Just not for long, for long
And live with me forever now
And pull the blackout curtains down
Just not for long, for long

[Post-Chorus]
We could be immor—, immortals
Immor—, immortals
Immor—, immortals
Immor—, immortals

[Interlude]
(Imm—, immortals)

[Verse 2]
Sometimes, the only payoff for having any faith
Is when it's tested again and again every day
I'm still comparing your past to my future
It might be your wound, but they're my sutures

[Pre-Chorus]
(Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
I am the sand in the bottom half of the hourglass, glass (Glass)
(Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
I try to picture me without you, but I can't

[Chorus]
'Cause we could be immortals, immortals
Just not for long, for long
And live with me forever now
And pull the blackout curtains down
Just not for long, for long

[Post-Chorus]
We could be immor—, immortals
Immor—, immortals
[Interlude]
(Immortals)

[Bridge]
And live with me forever now
And pull the blackout curtains down

[Chorus]
We could be immortals, immortals
Just not for long, for long

[Post-Chorus]
We could be immor—, immortals
Immor—, immortals
Immor—, immortals
Immor—, immortals

[Outro]
(Imm—, immortals)

OneRepublic - Counting Stars

OneRepublic - Counting Stars

 [Intro]
Lately, I've been, I've been losin' sleep
Dreamin' about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been prayin' hard
Said no more countin' dollars, we'll be countin' stars
Yeah, we'll be countin' stars

[Verse 1]
I see this life, like a swinging vine
Swing my heart across the line
And in my face is flashing signs
Seek it out and ye' shall find
[Refrain]
Old, but I'm not that old
Young, but I'm not that bold
And I don't think the world is sold
On just doing what we're told

[Pre-Chorus]
I feel something so right doin' the wrong thing
I feel something so wrong doin' the right thing
I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

[Chorus]
Lately, I've been, I've been losin' sleep
Dreamin' about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been prayin' hard
Said no more countin' dollars, we'll be countin' stars
Lately, I've been, I've been losin' sleep
Dreamin' about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been prayin' hard
Said no more countin' dollars, we'll be, we'll be countin' stars

[Verse 2]
I feel your love and I feel it burn
Down this river, every turn
Hope is our four-letter word
Make that money, watch it burn
[Refrain]
Old, but I'm not that old
Young, but I'm not that bold
And I don't think the world is sold
On just doing what we're told

[Pre-Chorus]
I feel something so wrong doin' the right thing
I couldn't lie, couldn't lie, couldn't lie
Everything that drowns me makes me wanna fly

[Chorus]
Lately, I've been, I've been losin' sleep
Dreamin' about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been prayin' hard
Said no more countin' dollars, we'll be countin' stars
Lately, I've been, I've been losin' sleep
Dreamin' about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been prayin' hard
Said no more countin' dollars, we'll be, we'll be countin' stars

[Bridge]
Take that money, watch it burn
Sink in the river the lessons I learned
Take that money, watch it burn
Sink in the river the lessons I learned
Take that money, watch it burn
Sink in the river the lessons I learned
Take that money, watch it burn
Sink in the river the lessons I learned
[Pre-Chorus]
Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

[Chorus]
Lately, I've been, I've been losin' sleep
Dreamin' about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been prayin' hard
Said no more countin' dollars, we'll be countin' stars
Lately, I've been, I've been losin' sleep
Dreamin' about the things that we could be
But baby, I've been, I've been prayin' hard
Said no more countin' dollars, we'll be, we'll be counting stars

[Outro]
Take that money, watch it burn
Sink in the river the lessons I've learned
Take that money, watch it burn
Sink in the river the lessons I've learned
Take that money, watch it burn
Sink in the river the lessons I've learned
Take that money, watch it burn
Sink in the river the lessons I've learned

Crowder - Crushing Snakes: Showdown Ft. TAYA

  Crowder - Crushing Snakes: Showdown

We’re not afraid
Terrors of night
Arrows that fly by day
Ten thousand may fall but we
We will remain

We’re not afraid
A promise of God
Can never be torn away
Walking on hands of angels
Crushing snakes
Safe under the shadow of His wings
Our fortress and our strength
Our fortress

We’re taking back our freedom
Our battle has been won
We have been liberated
Back from the dead,we’ve come

Do you see Him
King of Heaven
Champion of all creation

Eyes of fire
Voice of thunder
Tearing through the sky in wonder

Dressed in light we
See Him coming
On a horse that’s white like lightning

Do you see Him
Piercing through the sky
Breaking through the darkness
Do you see Him

I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME - Modern Day Cain

 IDKHOW - Modern Day Cain

A modern concussion 
The room is on fire
You're an upstanding model
of a modern day Cain
with impeccable style

But now you've done a little wrong
and you need to be forgiven 
by the vicar and the company you keep
and then you conjure up a fiction
to get the pretty girl to listen

This is the sin
That I will confess to release myself
from consequence
And everyone can tell

The moral objection
to something so profane 
but the deepest of convictions 
are the darkest positions
little remissions for the varicose vain 

Now you've done a little wrong 
and you swear you didn’t do it
but volition left you burdened with a curse
and then you conjure up a fiction
to get the pretty girls to listen

This is the sin
That I will confess to release myself
from consequence
And everyone can tell

The Warning - Ritual

The Warning - Ritual 

[Verse 1]
I think I'm going blind
Oh, I can't see the signs
I feel it coming, I feel it coming
I hope you close my eyes
When I run out of time
Can't keep on running, I keep becoming

[Pre-Chorus]
Unrealistically distressed
I play it out in my head
Catastrophically obsessed
It makes me wanna rip my heart out of my chest 'cause

[Chorus]
I just see death in what is beautiful
Plan all the funerals (Oh, oh, oh)
Everyone's blissfully delusional
But I deprive myself like it's a ritual

[Verse 2]
Ignoring my prescription
I've found my new addiction
Now I'm not eating, and I'm not sleeping
My mind is playing fiction
A curse of my existence
Hyperfixation, no medication

[Pre-Chorus]
Stops me from calling the dead
Light the candles on my bed
Bracing for the world to end
It makes me wanna rip my hair out of my head 'cause

[Chorus]
I just see death in what is beautiful
Plan all the funerals (Oh, oh, oh)
Everyone's blissfully delusional
But I deprive myself like it's a ritual

[Bridge]
(I run and run and run and run and run from nothing)
(I run and run and run and run and run from nothing)
(I run and run and run and run and run from nothing)
(I run and run and run and run and run from nothing)

[Chorus]
I just see death in what is beautiful
Plan all the funerals (Oh oh oh)
Everyone's blissfully delusional
But I deprive myself like it's a ritual

[Post-Chorus]
(I run and run and run and run and run from nothing)
But I deprive myself like it's a ritual
(I run and run and run and run and run from nothing)
(I run and run and run and run and run from nothing)
But I deprive myself like it's a ritual

Jeremy Camp - Dead Man Walking

 Jeremy Camp - Dead Man Walking

Freedom was something I never found
Trying to find six feet underground
Under the weight of all of my sin
Fighting the fight that I couldn't win
Then You rescued me
And now I can breathe
I was a dead man walking
Until I was a man walking with You
I was a blind man falling
Until I felt the life You're calling me to
Pulling me out of the darkness and
Pulling me out of the lies
Putting the beat in my heart again
I was a dead man walking
Until You loved this dead man walking back to life
I look for the words but cannot explain
A new kind of love ran into my veins
You are the key to all of my chains
To all that I was, now I'm not a slave
Then You rescued me
And now I can breathe
I was a dead man walking
Until I was a man walking with You
I was a blind man falling
Until I felt the life You're calling me to
Pulling me out of the darkness and
Pulling me out of the lies
Putting the beat in my heart again
I was a dead man walking
Until You loved this dead man walking back to life
I have tasted and I've seen the wonders of Your heart
I do not deserve a thing, but that's just who You are
I was a dead man walking
Until I was a man walking with You
I was a blind man falling
Until I felt the life You're calling me to
Pulling me out of the darkness and
Pulling me out of the lies
Putting the beat in my heart again
I was a dead man walking
Until You loved this dead man walking back to life
I was a dead man walking
Until You loved this dead man walking back to life

Jude

 1    JUDE, the servant of Jesus Christ, and brother of James, to them that are sanctified by God the Father,
    and preserved in Jesus Christ, and called.

2    Mercy unto you, and peace, and love, be multiplied.

3    Beloved, when I gave all diligence to write unto you of the common salvation, it was needful for me to write unto you, 
    and exhort you that ye should earnestly contend for the faith which was once delivered unto the saints.

4    For there are certain men crept in unawares, who were before of old ordained to this condemnation, ungodly men,
    turning the grace of our God into lasciviousness, and denying the only Lord God, and our Lord Jesus Christ.

5    I will therefore put you in remembrance, though ye once knew this, how that the Lord, having saved the people out
    of the land of Egypt, afterward destroyed them that believed not.

6    And the angels which kept not their first estate, but left their own habitation, he hath reserved in everlasting chains 
    under darkness unto the judgment of the great day.

7    Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, 
    and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

8    Likewise also these filthy dreamers defile the flesh, despise dominion, and speak evil of dignities.

9    Yet Michael the archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring
    against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee.

10    But these speak evil of those things which they know not:  but what they know naturally, as brute beasts, in those
    things they corrupt themselves.

11    Woe unto them for they have gone in the way of Cain, and ran greedily after the error of Balaam for reward, and 
    perished in the gainsaying of Core.

12    These are spots in your feasts of charity, when they feast with you, feeding themselves without fear:  clouds
    they are without water, carried about of winds;  trees, whose fruit withereth, without fruit, twice dead, plucked
    up by the roots;

13    Raging waves of the sea, foaming out their own shame;  wandering stars, to whom is reserved the blackness
    of darkness for ever.

14    And Enoch also, the seventh from Adam, prophesied of these, saying, Behold, the Lord cometh with ten
    thousands of his saints,

15    To execute judgment upon all, and to convince all that are ungodly among them of all their ungodly deeds which they
    have ungodly committed, and of all their hard speeches which ungodly sinners have spoken against him.

16    These are murmurers, complainers, walking after their own lusts;  and their mouth speaketh great swelling words,
    having men's persons in admiration because of advantage.

17    But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ;

18    How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.

19    These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.

20    But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost,

21    Keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.

22    And of some have compassion, making a difference:

23    And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire;  hating even the garment spotted by the flesh.

24    Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory
    with exceeding joy,

25    To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever.  Amen.

    Jude - KJV

"Streams in the Desert" written by Mrs. Charles E. Cowman - a book of daily devotionals originally published in 1925

 Streams in the Desert - July 9th

    "I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction."  Isaiah 48:10


    DOES not the Word come like a soft shower, assuaging the fury of the flame?  Yes, is it not an asbestos armor, against
which the heat has no power?  Let the affliction come--God has CHOSEN me.  Poverty, thou mayest stride in at my door;  but God
is in the house already, and He has CHOSEN me.  Sickness, thou mayest intrude;  but I have a balsam ready--God has CHOSEN
me.  Whatever befall me in this vale of tears, I know that He has CHOSEN me.

    Fear not, Christian;  Jesus is with thee.  In all thy fiery trials, His presence is both thy comfort and safety.  He will never leave
one whom He has chosen for His own.  "Fear not, for I am with thee,"  is His sure word of promise to His chosen ones in "the furnace of affliction."  --C.H. Spurgeon.


                    Pain's furnace heat within me quivers,
                        God's breath upon the flame doth blow;
                    And all my heart in anguish shivers
                        And trembles at the fiery glow;
                    And yet I whisper, "As God will!"
                    And in the hottest fire hold still.

                    He comes and lays my heart, all heated,
                        On the hard anvil, minded so
                    Into His own fair shape to beat it
                        With His great hammer, blow on blow;
                    And yet I whisper, "As God will!"
                    And at His heaviest blows hold still.

                    He takes my softened heart and beats it;
                        The sparks fly off at every blow;
                    He turns it o'er and o'er and heats it,
                        And lets it cool, and makes it glow;
                    And yet I whisper, "As God will!"
                    And in His mighty hand hold still.

                    Why should I murmur?  for the sorrow
                        Thus only longer-lived would be;
                    The end may come, and will tomorrow,
                        When God has done His work in me;
                    So I say trusting, "As God will!"
                    And, trusting to the end, hold still.
                                            --Julius Sturm

    The burden of suffering seems a tombstone hung about our necks, while in reality it is only the weight which is
    necessary to keep down the diver while he is hunting for pearls.  --Richter

Bloom where you are planted......

 (The update I posted elsewhere almost two years ago.....September 2024)


I felt it was time for an update.....we are well....most importantly.... IT IS WELL WITH OUR SOULS....

No, we haven't yet come out on the "other side" of all this....but I do have faith that we are closer to the end than the beginning...
we take things one day at a time as we rebuild our lives....and do our best to shine where God has placed us....

We are grateful for the love and prayers of God's people....and are learning to be grateful for the curses and abuses that we endured throughout our lives....learning that EVERYTHING has a purpose for our good and His glory....learning it in the most difficult ways imaginable....and trusting that our Heavenly Father has wonderful things in store for us....to make up for the years the locusts have eaten and to bless us above and beyond anything we could ever ask or think...He has already and He continues to do so....

I feel like a butterfly in process of metamorphosis...it has been an extremely long process...

...still in the raft hanging on as the rapids flow through the tunnel...in the dark, but knowing that GOD HAS THIS ALL
UNDER CONTROL...remembering that HE PLANNED IT ALL FOR HIS PURPOSES....and I am SO incredibly humbled to be 
chosen for this small part of HIS STORY...Yes, it has felt like a dozen or more Bible stories playing out in our lives...snatches from
this one and that one...over and over....it is true....we are living epistles and we are a "Bible story"....

I don't have scripture references listed, but those of you who know your Bible surely recognize His Word.

This poem meant a lot to me back in "the old country" during our time of captivity....and it still means a lot...we aren't free yet...yet we sing....

        ...The caged bird sings with a fearful trill, 
        of things unknown, but longed for still, 
        and his tune is heard on the distant hill,
         for the caged bird sings of freedom....
                    
                    Maya Angelou

Crying tears of joy....'cause we're alive....cradled in Love....

The Score - Born for This (live)

 The Score - Born for This

[Verse 1]
I'm checking my vital signs
Drawing my battle lines, going to war again
Feeling the rhythm inside of my chest, all I need is just a pen
I know I was born for this
I know I was born for this

[Verse 2]
Don't care for the critics, my words are like physics:
A force that they can't stop
They just don't get it, I think they forget I'm not
Done 'til I'm on top
I know I was born for this
I know I was born for this

[Pre-Chorus]
I believe, I believe we can write our story
I believe, I believe we can be an army (Hoo)

[Chorus]
We are the warriors who learned to love the pain
We come from different places, but have the same name
'Cause we were, 'cause we were, 'cause we were
'Cause we were born for this, we were born for this (Oh-oh-oh, hoo)
We are the broken ones who chose to spark a flame
Watch as our fire rages; our hearts are never tame
'Cause we were, 'cause we were, 'cause we were

[Verse 3]
I've struggled for years and through all the tears
I've faced the doubts I hide
I never gave into my fears deep within cause
I heard my voice inside
I know I was born for this
I know I was born for this

[Pre-Chorus]
I will never lose my voice
If I cut out all the noise
I know I was born for this
I know I was born for this
I believe, I believe we can write our story
I'll believe, I'll believe we can be an army (Hoo)

[Chorus]
We are the warriors who learned to love the pain
We come from different places, but have the same name
'Cause we were, 'cause we were, 'cause we were
'Cause we were born for this, we were born for this (Oh-oh-oh, hoo)
We are the broken ones who chose to spark a flame
Watch as our fire rages; our hearts are never tame
'Cause we were, 'cause we were, 'cause we were
'Cause we were born for this, we were born for this (Oh-oh-oh, hoo)
[Bridge]
Oh-oh-oh, hoo
Oh-oh-oh, hoo
Oh-oh-oh, hoo
Oh-oh-oh, hoo
These words that I write are for someone like me
To know you're not alone
The moves that you make, yeah, they come up mistakes
Don't ever lose your hope
Just know that you were born for this
Just know you were born for this (Hoo)

[Chorus]
We are the warriors who learned to love the pain
We come from different places, but have the same name
'Cause we were, 'cause we were, 'cause we were
'Cause we were born for this, we were born for this (Oh-oh-oh, hoo)
We are the broken ones who chose to spark a flame
Watch as our fire rages; our hearts are never tame
'Cause we were, 'cause we were, 'cause we were
'Cause we were born for this, we were born for this (Oh-oh-oh, hoo)

[Outro]
We were born for this, we were born for this 

Nothing More - Face It (live at Irving Plaza)

 Nothing More - Face It

Moment’s now
Shed this doubt
Stand your ground
Face it

Feel the sound
Stronger now
Only one way out
Face it

No more time
No more light
The sun has turned
And the moon has died

No more time
No second life
A man is born
And the boy has died

Face it

It’s time, face it

I’ve bit the nail
I’ve swallowed truth
I’ve fought through hell
So who the f*ck are you?

You’ll never get to me
But I’ll get to you
I am the ugly truth 

Come and take it
Come and take it

Overwhelming
Overcoming
I’m on my own

Silencing the angels
In the better part of you
Calling on the shadow
From the bitter side of truth


Trusting the nature
In the darkest part of you
The chaos and disorder
From the bitter side of truth…

Face it

I am your gut 
I am the truth 
I am the power in you

I am the pulse 
That pushes through 
The cold blood inside of you 

Come and take it
Come and take it

Senses Firing
Realizing
I’m on my own 

Silencing the angels
In the better part of you
Calling on the shadow
From the bitter side of truth


Trusting the nature
In the darkest part of you
The chaos and disorder
From the bitter side of truth…

Set myself on fire
Gotta face this on my own
Flames are raging higher 
Gotta face this on my own

Moment’s now
Shed this doubt
Stand your ground
Face it

Feel the sound
Stronger now
Only one way out
Face it

No more time
No more light
The sun has turned
And the moon has died

No more time
No second life
A man is born
And the boy has died

Face it

It’s time 
It’s time 

No more time
No more light
The sun has turned
And the moon has died

Silencing the angels
In the better part of you
Calling on the shadow
From the bitter side of truth…

…in you…
…in you…
…in you…
…in you…
It’s you…in you…

Jack White - Connected by Love

Jack White - Connected by Love 

Woman, don't you know what I'm suffering from?
Ease my pain, make it wash on with the rain
Relieve me and put it up on your shelf
Take it away, and give it to somebody else

'Cause I know we're connected by love
Yes, I know we're connected, connected, connected by love
Yeah, I wanna be directed by your love
Connected by love

Friend of mine, you seem to know me best
You chose me out of all of the rest
Take me home with you, and help me forget
Let's take the worst and somehow turn it into the best

'Cause I know
We're connected, we're connected
We're connected by love
Yes, I know
We're connected, we're connected
We're connected, connected, connected by love
We're connected, we're connected
Yeah, I can't be rejected by your love
We're connected, we're connected
What have I done?
I have pushed away everyone
Help me forget
Let's put it all to bed
Forgive me, and save me
From myself
Don't forsake me, woman
And go and choose somebody else
'Cause I know
We're connected, we're connected
We're connected by love
We're connected
Yes, I know
We're connected, we're connected
We're connected, connected, connected by love
Yes, I'm infected, I need to be protected by your love
We're connected, we're connected
We're connected, we're connected
Connected, connected by love

Bastille - Daniel in the Den @ Manchester Victoria Warehouse 04.02.19

Bastille - Daniel in the Den 

Moving along in a pace unknown to man
Go go go go go go
Go go go go go
And you thought the lions were bad
Well they tried to kill my brothers
And for every king that died
Oh they would crown another
But it's harder than you think
Telling dreams from one another
And you thought the lions were bad
Well they tried to kill my brothers
And felled in the night
By the ones you think you love
They will come for you
And felled in the night
By the ones you think you love
They will come for you
Dreaming along in a pace you'll understand
Go go go go go go
No no no no no
And you thought the lions were bad
Well they tried to kill my brothers
And for every king that died
Oh they would crown another
And it's harder than you think
Telling dreams from one another
And you thought the lions were bad
Well they tried to kill my brothers
And felled in the night
By the ones you think you love
They will come for you
And felled in the night
By the ones you think you love
They will come for you
Oh to see
What it means to be free
Of the shadows and the dreams
That you claim to see
Oh
And felled in the night
By the ones you think you love
They will come for you
And felled in the night
By the ones you think you love
They will come for you
And felled in the night
By the ones you think you love
They will come for you
And felled in the night
By the ones you think you love
They will come for you
Felled in the night
By the ones you think you love
Felled in the night
By the ones you think you love
Felled in the night
By the ones you think you love, love 

Poets of the Fall - Love Will Come to You

Poets of the Fall - Love Will Come to You

Hey, what's going on? Whatcha doin' here?
Is there something wrong tonight?
Do you remember who I chose to be?
My best friend in this life
Life doesn't run a clear course
It flows through from within
It's supposed to take you places and leave markings on your skin

And those marks are just a sign of something true
you witnessed in your time
Of something new, like the start of something fine

Like morning dew love will come again to you
Like morning dew
Morning dew

Hey, can you tell me who you are?
The colour of your dawn
When the gates are open from last night's revelry on the lawn
And when the sounds of laughter still echo in your dreams
The smoke screen disappears and nothing is what it seems

And your tears have been worthwhile
They got you through to a different place and time where all is new
To the start of something fine

Like morning dew your love will come again to you
Like morning dew

Love is there when you open the door
and you step off the trail you knew before
Through the streets and the houses of gods you roam
and on their altars you lay your heart of stone

Till all laughter is claws on your skin
and your moments of clarity scream the hell within
When you fade like a rose in the gloom love waits outside your room

Like morning dew your love will come again to you
Morning dew

Incubus - Dig

 Incubus - Dig

We all have a weakness
But some of ours are easy to identify
Look me in the eye
And ask for forgiveness
We'll make a pact to never speak that word again
Yes, you are my friend
We all have something that digs at us
At least we dig each other
(Ah, ah)
(Ah, ah)
So when weakness turns my ego up
I know you'll count on the me from yesterday
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone, oh, oh, eh, ah
We all have a sickness
That cleverly attaches and multiplies
No matter how we try
We all have someone that digs at us
At least we dig each other
(Ah, ah)
Oh, oh
So when sickness turns my ego up
I know you'll act as a clever medicine
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song (sing this song)
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone
Oh, each other
When everything else is gone
(Oh)
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
If I turn into another
Dig me up from under what is covering
The better part of me
Sing this song (sing this song)
Remind me that we'll always have each other
When everything else is gone
Oh, each other (sing this song)
When everything else is gone
Oh, each other
When everything else is gone

Third Eye Blind - The Background

 Third Eye Blind - The Background

[Verse 1]
Everything is quiet since you're not around
And I live in the numbness now
In the background
I do the things we did before
I walk Haight Street to the store
And they say where's that crazy girl
You don't get drunk on red wine and fight no more
I don't see you anymore since the hospital

[Chorus]
The plans I make still have you in them
Cause you come swimming into view
And I'm hanging on your words
Like I always used to do
The words they use so lightly
I only feel for you
I only know because I carry you around
In the background

[Verse 2]
I'm in the background
Words they come and memories all repeat
I lift your head while they change the hospital sheets
And I would never lie to you no
I would never lie to you no
I felt you long after we were through, we were through

[Chorus]
The plans I make still have you in them
Cause you come swimming into view
And I'm hanging on your words
Like I always used to do
The words they use so lightly
I only feel for you
I only know because I carry you around
In the background


Cause I felt you long after we were through
Well you come swimming into view
And I'm hanging on your words
Like I always used to do
The words they use so lightly
I only feel to you

[Outro]
I only know because
I'm way I'm way in the background
I'm in the background

The Revivalists - Lay It On Me 

I should've known better when I took that trip 
Down that old dirt road in my crawling skin 
Knew I was wrong when I crossed that line 
But I make the same mistakes every time 

Still I, I try to travel light 

But I could carry your load 
On the banks of a river so cold 
If there's something that you gotta let go 
Just lay it on me 

Shoulda known better when I took that pill 
It was bad for my head, I had a good time still 
Flyin' down the street in a hearse with wings 
The trunk was full of my skeletons 

Original sin was a pretty good deal 
I was so f---ed up it felt so real 
And the purple sky when the moon came up 
Took a dip in the abyss of my crowded cup 

Still I, I try to travel light 
 
But I could carry your load 
On the banks of a river so cold 
If it's something that you gotta let go 
Just lay it on me 

Said I could carry your load 
On the banks of a river so cold 
If there's something that you gotta let go 
Just lay it on me, just lay it on me 

Just lay it on me 
Just lay it on me 
Just lay it on me 

Plumb - Need You Now (How Many Times)

  Plumb - Need You Now (How Many Times)

Well, everybody's got a story to tell
And everybody's got a wound to be healed
I want to believe there's beauty here
'Cause oh I get so tired of holding on
I can't let go I can't move on
I want to believe there's meaning here
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God I need you now.
Standing on a road I didn't plan
Wondering how I got to where I am
I'm trying to hear that still small voice
I'm trying to hear above the noise
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now
Though I walk,
Though I walk through the shadows
And I, I am so afraid
Please stay please stay right beside me
With every single step I take
How many times have you heard me cry out?
And how many times have you given me strength?
How many times have you heard me cry out
"God please take this"?
How many times have you given me strength to
Just keep breathing?
Oh I need you
God, I need you now.
I need you now
Oh I need you
God I need you now
I need you now
I need you now

KATIA POJIDAEVA - CAPITALISM

 VERSE 1

This is Jane, she is working good 
Earning money for her goods 
This is Lou, He is kind 
He can handle all her funds

Lou married Jane one day 
They had kids, more bills to pay 
All the life around the money 
A big Fear to lose your comfy

This is Roger 
He is great 
He can make you pray today 
for his company and him 
As he paying salary

What is wrong - you'll ask me still? 
Nothing, Roger, sleep and kill 
All the dreams they had before 
Got the jobs to help you get rich more

CHORUS 

We wake up every morning for our march of tiny wheels 
Don't Look up to the sun , avoid your real thoughts to be seen
Just follow people right in front of you 
They gonna show you how to pray for Roger's view

VERSE2

Don't be ridiculous 
Just follow 
You know It's good to have your corner 
And Roger is our God 
He is great 
We love his company 
He pays 
We'll sell ourselves 
We'll sell our lifetime 
To make his company feels bright 
To make him buy a new sports car 
Or maybe yacht for his young wife

He wants our families to help 
He wants us to be part of jail 
No matter that the years will be gone
And he'll kick us out once we become old and tired

CHORUS

We wake up every morning for our march of tiny wheels 
Don't Look up to the sun , avoid your real thoughts to be seen
Just follow people right in front of you 
They gonna show you how to pray for Roger's view

BRIDGE

Jane, you know you have to pay attention to what your boss will say is right 
You need to dress up as he likes 
You need to treat him with your smile 
You don't feel good about it ? Forget 
He better knows, you won't regret 

All your colleagues will smile right to your face 
While they are watching all your steps 
To be the one instead of you
In Roger's tunnel's view

And our children will grow up 
And work for Roger long enough 
To Down the drain their lives away 
And to repeat the circle day by day

CHORUS 
We wake up every morning for our march of tiny wheels 
Don't Look up to the sun , avoid your real thoughts to be seen
Just follow people right in front of you 
They gonna show you how to pray for Roger's view

30 Seconds to Mars - Where the Streets Have No Name (MTV unplugged)

 30 Seconds to Mars - Where the Streets Have No Name

I want to run, I want to hide
I wanna tear down the walls that hold me inside
I wanna reach out and touch the flame
Where the streets have no name, ha, ha, ha, ha
I wanna feel (I wanna feel) sunlight on my face (sunlight on my face)
I see that dust cloud disappear without a trace
I wanna take shelter from the poison rain
Where the streets have no name, oh oh
Where the streets have no name (oh oh)
Where the streets have no name (where the streets have no name)
We're still building then burning down love (burning down love)
Burning down love
(Oh) and when I go there (and when I go there)
I go there with you (go there with you)
It's all I can do