Metamorphosis

July 27, 2026

I suppose I've been experiencing something of what people call a "death of ego" lately......

Does the caterpillar worry what she'll be like after emerging from the cocoon or chrysalis?  Will people want to step on me or squoosh me?  or admire me?  or think I'm disgusting?   NOOOO!!!   of course not.... what emerges in God's perfect timing is so very different and utterly unrecognizable, but still lovely and precious and desired.....and most importantly...fitted for a purpose.


I suppose all the "deaths" I've experienced up to now were simply fleeting, temporal things....

Like death of status, position, death of vision, who I thought I was, what I thought my life was supposed to be like, etc. 

 But this "death of ego" thing is different.....truly, how can the pot complain to the potter
"why did you make me this way?"   The vessel that comes forth is useful and needful and maybe beautiful, but the potter gets all the glory....because without the potter, the lump of clay would simply be trodden under foot...nothing.

So.... whoever I am at the end of this is EXACTLY who God wants me to be and I sure don't need to cry and worry about "will I ever have any wit, humor, cleverness, intelligence, eloquence, capabilities, beauty, wisdom, and....(like I thought I had before) in my life..."

Whatever qualities I may still possess or gain through all this....will be exactly what/who God chooses me to have and to be for HIS GLORY and for HIS PURPOSES and I am SOOOOO fine with that.....but I had to voice all this last night.....and acknowledge that it is something I've been concerned about....in this existence of surviving....doldrums...loneliness....lack of social connection...meaningful conversations.......one begins to wonder these things...I truly feel like the mush of a caterpillar in the cocoon......

How will I "DO LIFE" and relationships after this?  What will that look like?  From a life of NEVER BEING ALONE to a life of almost always BEING ALONE.....to ....what?   Maybe never being alone again!!  Could I handle that!?!?!?

 I've been completely surrounded by life sucking, soul squashing narcissists (and worse) ALL MY LIFE, but for a few days or hours here and there with certain people sprinkled throughout.  So....who will I be?  How will I navigate life?  Love?  I honestly do not know.   But GOD DOES..... thankfully I don't need to worry about that!!!   

       

 So, Debbie, dry your tears....buck up as you always manage to do (with HIS GRACE and STRENGTH!!! not my own) and carry on....this season will pass (and I really can't imagine what I'll think about it or remember looking back on it. ) 
 

 Enjoy the moments of peace when they come...when the crazies aren't nearby....when the emotions of the world aren't too heavy and BE STILL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD.....

and..... Breathe......Just Breathe....
 

 And remember .....your chief end is to ENJOY GOD AND GLORIFY HIM FOREVER!!!!   Hallelujah!!!!

 

Thanks for listening to me...and praying for us and each other.....

sending hugs and love and blessings to ALL MY DEAR ONES.....